Guilt. It can come without warning, suddenly you feel as if you have been punched in the stomach. Most working mothers feel guilty at one time or another. They may be running late for a parent teacher conference and interpret the look of other parents as a condemnation of your working, after all, they felt the conference was important enough to be on time for. Or maybe guilt comes after a comment from your child, “But Mom, all the other mothers bake cupcakes, why do we need to buy cookies from the store
As working mothers, it is important to feel comfortable with your decision. Too many times, however, working mothers feel they need to defend their choice. Working mothers and society have an ongoing debate going on. Some feel that by working, mothers are taking something valuable away from their children: time. Others feel that working mothers really give more to their children, a sense of pride and accomplishment, a role model and more financial freedom. Each family situation is different, what may work for the family down the street, may not be best for your family. And so, comparing your situation to theirs is like comparing apples to oranges.
What the Research Shows
A study completed by The University of Texas in 2005 did not find any developmental problems in children whose mothers worked outside the home. Dr. Aletha Huston, the study’s director states, “The mother is an important source of care then, but she doesn’t have to be there 24 hours a day to build a strong relationship with her child.”
Some of the points of the study include:
- Infant development is not delayed when a mother works outside the home.
- A mother’s personality, including their beliefs and the quality of their parenting was more important than the amount of time spent with their child.
- Working mothers spent more time with their children on days off.
- Working mothers spent less time on household chores and leisure activities.
- There were no differences in social behavior, cognitive ability and language development whether mothers stayed at home or worked.
This information agrees with a previous study, completed in 1999 by The University of Massachusetts, which concludes that “a mother’s employment outside the home has no significant negative effect on her children.” According to this study:
- When mothers worked long hours, there were small differences in testing for vocabulary and individual student achievement, however, these differences disappeared over time.
- Children whose mothers returned to work when they were three to four years old, instead of as infants, showed a higher rate of compliance with authority, however, this too disappeared over time and later showed no differences.
- There was no significant, negative impact on children when mothers worked outside the home.
The results of these two studies can help relieve the guilt that many working mothers feel. Their children will thrive based not on how much time they spend together, but on the quality of time spent together. Mothers that are comfortable with their decision, are confident in their abilities and provide loving and nurturing homes have the best chance of raising well-adjusted children, whether they work outside the home or stay at home.
References:
New Longitudinal Study Finds That Having A Working Mother Does No Significant Harm to Children, American Psychological Association, 1999.
Maternal Employment Does Not Harm Infant’s Development, Research Shows, University of Texas At Austin, 2005
Eileen Bailey - Eileen Bailey is a freelance writer. She began her writing career almost 20 years ago writing marketing material and sales presentations. ...
Join the Conversation